"You have a 4-inch mass on your kidney."

At 19, those words should have upset me, but hearing them brought two things to my mind. One, what does that mean and what do we need to do next? Two, mom.

Looking at her, I wondered what she was feeling.  We are all each other has and I knew that this would not be easy for her. I looked at the doctor, hoping she would tell us what to do next. Silence. 

Finally my mom, Stacy Lynn, composed herself and asked the question I couldn’t.

"What do we do now?" she asked.

"Well, you can come back for multiple appointments to get tests done or stay for the weekend and get them done at once," my doctor, Elsa Brown told her.

"If this was your child, what would you do?" my asked, her eyes pleading for help.

"Oh, I would check her in right away," Brown said in a reassuring manor.

As I got settled into my hospital room a nurse came in, told me my kidney would be removed Tuesday and left. It was Friday. I had had enough at that point. I said goodnight to my mom, laid my head on the pillow and went to sleep. 

When I woke up the next morning, I thought back to everything that led to that moment. Not just from the day before, but months before. For months I had had bouts of vomiting, unable to keep a thing down. That lasted for a day, then I'd be fine the next, but they had gradually increased in frequency. For a month-long period, when I would go to the bathroom, a portion of my urine was blood. Thinking back now, I'm sure it wasn't my period, but blood in my urine. I was having severe abdominal pain; enough pain to force visits to the hospital, which brought zero results.

Then came yesterday. One week before I was supposed to go back to college in Montana from my home in Minnesota.

I woke up with the worst abdominal pain I had yet and when I went to the bathroom, there was blood; so much blood.

I assumed it was my period. I had no reason not to.  Although I thought there was something strange about the blood, it didn’t appear how it normally did. But shrugged it off and decided to just take it easy all day and pop a couple of Advil. The pain wouldn’t let up. I got my mom to take me to urgent care, just in case they could help take it away, but I had my doubts. Occasionally, I would start to cry from the pain while we waited for the urgent care nurse to get my vitals.

The nurse finally took my blood pressure and it was sky high.

"That's a sign that you're in a lot of pain," she said.

I could have told her that. My head filled with sarcastic remarks, but I decided not to say them.

I was put at the top of the list to see a doctor. A series of tests followed; blood work, an internal and external ultrasound and a C.T. scan.

As my mom and I waited for the results of the C.T. scan, a nurse asked for a urine sample. When I was done the clear container was solid red. I handed it to the nurse, telling her that I had my period and I hoped it wouldn't be a problem.

She left but quickly returned.

"There's too much blood. We need to do a straight cath," she said.

A catheterization. I groaned.

When the nurse finished, I noticed the once clear vial was now red. That’s not right, I thought to myself, but the nurse walked out without a word.

A few minutes later a doctor walked in.

"You have a lot of blood in your urine," she said.

I had no idea what she meant by that obvious statement, but it wasn't good.

"The C.T. scan shows that you have a 4-inch mass on your kidney," she said.

After months of dealing with these mystery symptoms and 11 hours in the hospital that day, it had all ended here.

A nurse walked in with a needle. That was the last thing I wanted to see at that moment.

The next two days were a blur.

One thing I will never forget was one of the nurses who had to give me a shot. She told me that shot was to help the blood clotting I had in my urine. She also told me it was going to hurt, point blank, no candy coating like so many of the others.

"Okay," I said.

I closed my eyes and breathed, thinking, at least she was honest.

She gave me the shot in my stomach and the pain shot through. I took deep breaths, hoping it would help. The nurse scooped up my hand and gave it a light squeeze to let me know it was okay. I latched on and gripped tight. She held my hand for nearly a minute waiting for the pain to pass.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yes," I said.

She nodded and left.

 It may not seem like much to some, but that was the kindest gesture I received from a stranger while I was in the hospital and I will never forget it.

I had regular visitors and a steady flow of messages from friends on my computer.

By the end of Saturday my urologist and soon-to-be-surgeon, Dr. Gregory Hanson, told me they were fairly certain the mass was cancerous, but it looked on the C.T. scan as though it was contained to my kidney.

Tuesday came and my surgery went by with no complications. They removed the mass along with my right kidney and a couple of lymph nodes. I spent nearly a week in the hospital for recovery. The stream of visitors kept a smile on my face and made it easy to keep my usual optimism. I had to wait nearly a month before we found out if my tumor was cancerous and what type is was- one very long month of just waiting.

All the experts who examined my tumor agreed that they had never seen anything like it and "they would probably never see anything like it again," Hanson said. 

Hanson told me that 80 percent of the tumor was a form of slow-growing cancer. The other 20 percent was a mystery to the doctors. They had no idea how to even categorize it.

That was encouraging.

"We are sure that we completely removed the tumor and you shouldn't need chemotherapy or radiation treatment," Hanson said.

That was a huge relief. Hanson told me, that I would need regular checkups- once every six months for five years, then once a year for two years after that. 

I thought that the hard part was over and I could get back to my old routine. I was wrong.

I couldn’t return to school, at least for the semester, because I still needed to recover and as it turned out, my mom's health insurance didn't cover out of state expenses. I decided to take the year off but that formed a new problem. My mom had a special living situation. She was a live-in staff member at an arts high school dorm. This means she has a one-room apartment but they allow only one person to live there.

Two weeks after my surgery, the people in charge at my mom’s work told my mom I needed to find a different place to stay. My mom and I weren't sure what to do at first. We didn't have much money to begin with and now with all my medical bills things were even worse. Luckily, we had family friends who were willing to let me stay with them rent-free.

RT and KimMarie Pranschke were a middle-aged couple with six cats as children. Nearly two months after living with the Pranschkes, KimMarie surprised RT by declaring she wanted a divorce. She moved out right away after that.

RT, who had been completely taken by surprise, struggled with this. He never wanted to be home and I don't blame him. I supported him the best that I could. This did, however, provide new complications for me. I didn't have a car and being able to get groceries was a bit of a challenge. On top of that I had no money and I couldn't ask my mom for grocery money because she needed her own groceries and she was covering my bills. I knew I needed to get a job as soon as possible.

Thankfully, a Dominos and a local coffee shop were hiring a block from my home and I managed to get both jobs. It wasn't as much as it sounds, especially considering I was out of the hospital two months ago, but neither job provided me with many hours and I found myself still struggling to get groceries. There were quite a few days where I barely ate anything to make sure what I did have could last.

It wasn’t easy, but I remembered how much my mom was struggling with my medical bills and my school tuition. I helped as much as I could, which wasn't much, but it was the best I could do.

When it came time for my first six-month follow-up for cancer, I couldn't even go because I had been out of school for more than six months and was no longer covered by my mom's health insurance. I tried to keep a level head about the whole thing, forcing myself to remember, "this too shall pass."

The year rolled by with its ups and downs. I struggled to figure out where I wanted to go to school, seeing as I had to stay in state. Fortunately, I figured out where I wanted to go and by August I was enrolled at Winona State University, ready to start my life again.

Since I was back in school, I was on my mom's health insurance once more and my loan payments were back on hold.

Now I'm in my second year at Winona State and things have been relatively smooth. Money is definitely still a sore spot, especially with my bi-annual checkups, but I've been plugging along. 

Two weeks ago I had a follow-up appointment and I'm officially two years cancer-free. According to my doctor, it's a landmark.